Everything In Its Right Place

i'm going to be an american citizen soon and i've decided to change my name.  i know i've complained to a lot of you already about how much i dislike my first name and how much grief it has caused me over the years.  no one, unless they are turkish, can pronounce it.  because of people's inability to pronounce my name, i go by mel which i dislike even more.  i don't think it suits me; it's very masculine.  i'm tired of the queer looks and questions.  i'm also tired of the teasing.  so i'm changing my name to esra, my middle name.  i understand it will be strange for those of you who have known me to start calling me esra but i would really appreciate it if you tried to. 

i guess i have to change my username again. 

I just finished eating alone in the dining hall.  It was pretty lonely and depressing.  I don't usually mind eating by myself but eating alone in Fresh Foods feels like electing to be a recluse.  And everyone stares at you like you're a freak.  I read the awful school newspaper and listened to music to fend off any creepy men (or women) trying to distract me from my food.   

I lied a million times about how terrible Kanye West's new album is.  It's actually fantastic.  I hope I can like it as much or more than his last.  

I would write a chronological, emotional, worthwhile entry right now but I'm about to go to Statistics.  

Right now I am stressed about:
-getting a job
-taking an entire roll of film before tomorrow night
-smelling like the dining hall
-not getting my textbooks from the mail

-world regional geography
-intro to statistics
-intro to ethics
-introductory botany
-independent film since 1960
-photography i